Colorado Springs Marriage Prep

Bishop Michael Sheridan of Colorado Springs has recently published a quick intro to the changes which he will be implementing regarding Marriage Preparation within the diocese.

In general, Bishop Sheridan is a pretty straight shot, but he misses the mark on a couple things. First, the good stuff:

1. The new policies call for a full year to be devoted to preparation for marriage. The reason for this change (from six months to one year) is to accommodate the increase in the amount of preparation that is called for. In our culture, marriage is attacked from every quarter. What may have sufficed as adequate preparation a generation ago simply does not suffice any longer.

One year of spiritual preparation is not unreasonable when you consider that most couples begin their "secular" preparations (securing the reception hall, planning menus, attire, etc.) at least a year in advance of the marriage. That is the time to meet with the parish priest (or deacon) to begin the more important preparation — preparation to enter into and live out a life-long commitment that is grounded in the bond that is created when a couple exchanges vows.

One year to prepare? Despite complaints from some in the diocese, I agree with the Bishop. I have previously spent 4 years within the diocesan-sanctioned Marriage Prep program. Frankly, it was abysmal. Marriage Prep was an afterthought for most couples, and then it was only an item on the list to cross-off so that they could have sex licitly. Spending one whole year preparing to receive a Sacrament that will shape the rest of your life is most prudent.

2. In addition to ensuring that the bride and groom are compatible with each other, a renewed emphasis on the sacramentality and indissolubility of marriage will occupy a prominent place in marriage preparation. Especially helpful will be instruction in Pope John Paul II’s "theology of the body." Our late beloved Holy Father has left the church the great gift of these instructions on the meaning human sexuality and marriage. We want all candidates for marriage to be exposed to this beautiful teaching.

I agree with the first sentence, the rest is just the Neo-Con party line that Theology of the Body is the greatest thing since sliced white bread. Every other teaching of the Church can be summed up in one or two phrases. "Jesus Christ is both fully God and fully Human." And, "By a singular grace, Mary was preserved from the stain of original sin at conception." Easy, right? So what is ToB? Can someone sum it up for me without referring me to a 400-page tome? And again, why should I base the rest of my life on it?

3. While some pastors have required couples to become familiar with a program of Natural Family Planning, this has not been consistent throughout the diocese. Mandatory instruction in Natural Family Planning will constitute a very important part of our new marriage preparation policies.

Yawn. Learn how not to have babies, the Catholic Way!

Among the threats to marriage in our culture, there is none greater than the contraceptive mentality that has become almost commonplace in the marriages of non-Catholics and Catholics alike. Forty-five years ago, when the oral contraceptive became readily available, it was touted as the answer to all the problems of married life. Now we know that contraception, far from being the panacea that was promised, has been a factor in the disintegration of countless marriages.

Agree completely. I got your back on that one, Your Excellency. But I have a problem with the next part ...

It is essential that married couples adopt a program of family planning and responsible parenthood that is in accord with the teaching of the church. Natural Family Planning is just such a program.

There is a logical question that flows from the above. Am I somehow an irresponsible parent if I do not use NFP? Why is it necessary, as a citizen of a First World Country, to plan a family? [Disclaimer: Grave matter and/or circumstances trump my objections.]

Every time a friend or family member throws the spitball of "responsible parenthood" in my direction, I whack a line-drive back at his head with the above questions. And invariably, he ends up with a goose-egg swelling over the left-eye. The teaching of NFP also instills a contraceptive mentality, which forms the grave intent required for mortal sins. Remember, Our Lord said that if you even look at a woman lustfully, you are guilty of adultery. So what does that say about those who use the tool of NFP as a contraceptive? [Disclaimer as above.]

The rest of the article is good Bishop-ing.

There is much more to marriage preparation than what has been highlighted here. Soon, when the new policies are promulgated, brochures outlining all the steps of preparation will available from your parish priest or director.

Sometimes couples preparing for marriage ask why the church demands so much preparation of them. The answer is simple. It is not because the church wants to place more hurdles for couples to jump. Rather, the reason why so much is demanded is because the church treasures marriage and family life so much.

If the church did not hold the holy state of marriage in such high esteem, she would care very little if couples were prepared for marriage or not.

It has been said by many people, and I agree completely: The authentic renewal of the church and then of our society and culture will derive from the renewal of marriage and family life. The family is the primary building block of any society or civilization. When marriage and families are strong, nations are strong. This renewal will come about when a new sense of commitment to the vows of marriage by our Catholic people and others of good will becomes a reality. Solid preparation for marriage will go a long way toward promoting that renewal.

I ask all couples who will be looking forward to marriage, as well as their parents and friends who want only the best married life for the couple, to see in these new marriage preparation policies the opportunity to ground their marriage in the rock-solid teaching of the Catholic Church.

May God bless abundantly all married couples and all those who are contemplating marriage.

Amen.

But I feel sorry for the Trad that wants to get married in our diocese. NFP? ToB? No thanks.