Lovin' the Spam

... no, not the kind in a can. Although this one should go in the can:

Catholic Underground Texas sent me an "invitation" to attend their conference in Irving, Texas. If you are keeping track, that is a 718 miles (or 1155.5 kilometers for you metric folks in Canada). Google says that it is a 12 1/2 hour trip by car.

Ummm ... yeah. No thanks.

Being a Traddy Trad man myself, I figured I would look at the list of speakers (or performers as the case may be):

Strike One: Fr. Stan Fortuna --'nuf said.

Strike Two: Franciscan Friars of the Renewal.

What?!? How can you, Jimmy the Hand, not like the FFotR? They are doing awesome work! And Fr. Benedict Groeschel is doing great things for the Church!

Well, let's just say that I know a couple of Capuchin Franciscans. You know, the ones abandoned by Fr. Groeschel to start the FFotR. Apparently, when Fr. Groeschel approached the Chapter to tell them he was leaving, they -- of course -- asked, "Why?". He said he wanted to reform the Franciscans, of which the Capuchins are already a reform. They said they would like him to stay and reform through them. He said, "No". Thus the FFotR.

Now, the common sense part of me says, "Huh?"

My guess/speculation/judgment is that there is not enough notoriety in reforming an already existing order. So much for St. John of the Cross, or St. Theresa of Avila ...

Being an old-skool man myself, if the Capuchins were good enough for St. Pio and Venerable Solanus Casey, why not stick with them? But I guess it is the post-Vatican II need for a reform of the reform of the reform et cetera ad nauseum.

Strike Three: Performances by "everybody's favorite funk band, Crispin"

umm ... brain ... hurts ... must not ... try to ... c.o.m.p.r.e.h.e.n.d (Where is William Shatner when you need him?)

Strike Four: Phatmas

If you don't got a problem with Phatmas, then talk to my brotha the Inquisitor, he can tell you all about them.

But that is four strikes! Everyone knows that it only takes THREE to strike someone out!

Yeah, I know, but bass-playin' rapper Fr. Stan Fortuna is a screwball. No one can hit that one, so they get a mulligan. (How is that for a mixed metaphor?)

You can try looking for me at the Catholic Underground Texas thingy, but I won't be there.

Wikipedia Saints Portal

Not sure who else has seen this. There is now a Saints Portal on Wikipedia. It seems to have some potential for Trad influence.

Also of note is the Saints Wikibooks and Saints Wikiquote.

The only caveat would be Wikipedia's notorious Neutral Point Of View (NPOV).

Ascension Thursday

The 1st Class Feast of Our Lord, Forty Days after His Glorious Resurrection ...

... is Cancelled Due To Lack of Interest...

... or rather, just moved to Sunday because the Roman Catholic Church in the United States of America is just too damned lazy to observe a Holy Day of Obligation in the middle of the week.

New SSPX District Headquarters

I recently read Fr. Fullerton's letter in the May 2006 Regina Coeli Report regarding the new location of the U.S. District Headquarters "located
northwest of Kansas City, just outsite of Platte City, Missouri".
For those afraid of PDF, the District Superior's letter also located here.

I am wondering if the true location is in Farley, Missouri. This would be a nice surprise, considering that I have family in that area, and would make my "Traditional Mass Commute" a 10 minute affair, rather than the 45-60 minute trek that normally occurs when I am in the area.

Will they offer daily/weekly Mass and devotions? Inquiring minds want to know ...

Roasting Heretics

In honor of the Inquisitor Generalis:

I'd Rather Be Roasting Heretics Apron

Catholic Church Break In -- II

Wednesday, May 10 was another eventful evening. Daily Mass was scheduled for 6:30 p.m. with Schola rehearsal afterwards.

Fr. F unlocks the doors at 6:00 p.m. to find the lights turned on in the Sanctuary (again), and the Sanctuary Lamp lit. ( The Sanctuary Lamp has not been lit since Sunday evening when the Sacred Species was removed from the tabernacle due to the security issues discussed here.)

Once again, the County Sheriff arrived on the scene to take a statement. All four officers whom we have met so far seem genuinely pleased that we have moved into the neighborhood and look forward to seeing the fruit of our future renovations. Deputy G from Sunday night (a self-professed fallen-away Catholic) is going to bring his wife down to the parish to speak with Fr. F.

Say a prayer for both of them.

I'm Just Saying

There is a wonderful phrase that allows one to spout off about any subject without any consequences whatsoever. The phrase is, "I'm just saying."

I recently got an email:

Now, I know cultures are different and all, but where I
grew up the guy who couldn't keep a girl didn't go around throwing
"fag" insults at others. I'm just saying.

The one who posted this is free from all culpability resulting from the insult. The phrase, "I'm just saying" is an indication that the speaker is stating the obvious, and therefore the listener should not take offense.

Another such phrase is "God bless him". As in, "He's a no good bum and a pathetic loser, God bless him."

Once again, we see that rather than insulting the person, the speaker is actually giving blessings to the subject. Therefore, no offense may be taken. Rather, the subject should count his blessings for the obviously magnanimous statement.

So, only a filthy wretch could find fault with the illuminating logic demonstrated above.

I'm just saying.

Bishop Finn: moving in the right direction

The Curmudgeon in KC has highlighted an NCR Article (a.k.a hit-piece) about Bishop Finn. Having grown up in the KC-St.J diocese, I found it particularly interesting.

From a Traditionalist perspective, Bishop Finn is moving in the right direction.

For the record, the Latin Mass Community of which the article speaks is located at Old St. Patrick's Oratory, and is staffed by the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest.

p.s. Funny thing. The "Worthwhile Links" section of the Oratory website has a link to the Curmudgeon's Cave.

Catholic Church Break In!

The Third Sunday of Easter was the first Sunday Mass for Immaculate Conception Catholic Church in Colorado Springs. Immaculate Conception is staffed by a priest of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter (FSSP), and exclusively offers the Traditional Sacraments.

Following the 9 a.m. Mass, attended by 200 of the Faithful, many attended the other great Latin Mass Tradition -- coffee and donuts. The after-Mass socializing continued until 2 p.m. Fr. F then secured the Church and attached buildings so that he could make is regular Communion calls, leaving the property at 4 p.m.

Following his calls, Fr. F stopped by the homestead to unwind from the busy day and partake of the feeding of the Clann with baked spaghetti.

Upon returning to the Church, he noticed that the sanctuary lights were on. After going inside to investigate, he immediately called me to come down to the Church. We found that two votive candles with brass holders were missing, one from in front of a picture of Our Lady, and one from in front of a picture of Our Lord. The Paschal Candle was also turned in an odd fashion. Fr. F then called the police, and three armed county deputies soon arrived. They proceeded to "clear" the property, and then gave us a walk-though detailing their discoveries.

A window in the reception hall had been kicked in, indicating the point of entry. The door to the accessibility ramp was ajar, showing the point of departure. In addition to the stolen items, graffiti was found on the wall in one of the classrooms.

The Deputies said that there is a "gang" in the area that has previously broken in to this building, looking for cash and other easily-sold items. They recommended some additional security measures and assured us of their ongoing diligence in this area.

We are now in the process of upgrading our building security.

Athanasian Creed

GFvonB at Traditio in Radice has posted my favorite Creed of the Church (in both Latin and the Vulgar). In the Traditional Breviaries, this Creed is said following the psalms of Prime on Trinity Sunday. Sadly, it is very much overlooked in these times. I wonder what would happen if your friendly neighborhood Novus Ordo priest were to read this Creed from the pulpit:

• His head would explode, covering the guitar player(s) in brain matter
  
• "Extraordinary" Ministers of the Eucharist would light the pews on fire and storm the pulpit
• 75% of the parish would immediately seek out the priest after Mass to hear their confessions. They have seen the error of their ways and wish to repent.

You can decide for yourself, based on your own parish experience.