NFP Revisited

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is in the Colorado Springs Catholic News (again!). Since His Excellency has instituted new Marriage Preparation guidelines, two points have come to the forefront: the length of time for the preparation (one year), and the NFP requirement. The Bishop's article on the use of NFP is a bit lengthy for a blog post, but I think that it raises some interesting questions.

From the article:

The reason why NFP education will be required is that this is the truly viable and moral alternative to artificial contraception and the growing contraceptive mentality ...

But for what do 90% of Catholics use NFP? Ummm ... that would be 'avoiding a pregnancy'. They are seeking not to conceive. Can someone explain to me again how NFP is an alternative to the contraceptive mentality?

The next part of the article expounds on Catholic teaching of artificial contraception. However, I do take issue with the following statement.

Contraception is immoral for this simple reason: it violates the dignity of the human person as well as the divinely instituted meaning of marriage.

Here we see the standard Conservative Catholic catch-phrase 'dignity of the human person'. I have a couple of degrees from a good (decent) Liberal Arts Catholic College. But I have yet to get a succinct definition of 'dignity of the human person'. In the Psalter, David (as a figure of Christ), says that he is but a worm. So much for dignity.

But we also have a bigger problem. The human dignity card seems to trump the God-Creator card. Contraception is immoral (nay, evil) because Man is placed above God in the order and timeliness of creation. Contraception says, "No thanks, God, We know better than you. We know that you want to act through us in order to create an immortal soul, but we don't have time for that right now."

His Excellency seems to get the point, but for some reason places the above 'human dignity' before the offense of God. Later on, he identifies the incredible gift which God has given couples to participate in Creation ...

God, in fact, invites married couples to a unique participation in the power of creation.

... but still does not actively recognize the sin of contraception is first and primarily a shunting of God's creative power.

Next comes the phrase that makes my blood boil:

While the church teaches that artificial contraception is always sinful, the church also teaches the necessity of responsible parenthood. Part of what it means to be responsible parents can involve the spacing of children in a family.

Did you catch that? Responsible parenthood. It's all well and good to preach responsible parenthood, but what are the guidelines of such? What IS responsible parenthood? I want a positive definition, not one of those definitions that tell me what it is not. My wife and I have 7 (seven) children, ages 10 and younger. Are we responsible parents? We go to Mass with many other families with just as many children. Are any of them responsible parents?

From my rant below:

There is a logical question that flows from the above. Am I somehow an irresponsible parent if I do not use NFP? Why is it necessary, as a citizen of a First World Country, to plan a family? [Disclaimer: Grave matter and/or circumstances trump my objections.]
Every time a friend or family member throws the spitball of "responsible parenthood" in my direction, I whack a line-drive back at his head with the above questions. And invariably, he ends up with a goose-egg swelling over the left-eye. The teaching of NFP also instills a contraceptive mentality, which forms the grave intent required for mortal sins. Remember, Our Lord said that if you even look at a woman
lustfully, you are guilty of adultery. So what does that say about those who use the tool of NFP as a contraceptive? [Disclaimer as above.]

Next, His Excellency gets into the concept of periodic abstinence.

When a couple conscientiously and for just cause decides that the conception of a child ought to be delayed, the couple may refrain from
sexual intercourse during the days of the woman's fertile period.

Good. He mentioned just cause. I think it should more along the lines of serious or grave, but at least he is qualifying the use of NFP. But you know what? If you have just reason for delaying the conception of a child, then stop with the lovin' for 6 months, not the two-weeks-on, two-weeks-off garbage. If you don't have a serious enough cause to give it up for 6 months, then you shouldn't be using NFP in the first place.

His Excellency then says about NFP,

it has absolutely proved itself to be a boon to marriages.

I have seen this statement a gazillion times. (And, yes, 'gazillion' is a word. Look it up.) My reply to this 'boon' is, "Show me the money!"

How has it been a boon? I call B.S. Every man that I have talked to about NFP gives lip-service to the "closeness" and "increased intimacy" mantra. The fact is, I am the man of my house, and I am letting some chart tell me how and when I can love my wife. It is frustrating, demeaning, and turns the man or woman into a begging dog 3 out of every 4 months. What was that about the 'dignity of the human person' again? Platitudes are nice. But reality is that NFP does nothing for the average marriage, but is a monthly point of contention for man and wife.

If you seriously need to avoid a pregnancy, then don't have sex, and flee from the near occasions. Hey, you did it for the year before you got married in Colorado and Kentucky-- you can do it again.

I am a Providentialist. (Hey! Don't look at me like I just used a dirty word.) I happen to take Our Lord at His Word, (or at least try to)

31 Be not solicitous therefore, saying, What shall we eat: or what shall we drink, or wherewith shall we be clothed?
32 For after all these things do the heathens seek. For your Father knoweth that you have need of all these things.
33 Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Be not therefore solicitous for tomorrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.

His Excellency echoes this in his letter:

We must trust that God will not let us down. He will transform the counterfeit into something better and more fulfilling than we ever imagined.

I just hope and pray that the use NFP does not become another measuring stick for orthodoxy. I have a feeling it already has.